My assessment is 2 weeks today and it feels like an age. Time appears to be at a standstill and I just want it over with. I want to find out if they are going to offer me treatment and if so, what kind? How often? Etc. It is driving me mad. The questionnaire is still very much getting to me, when do I fill it in? On the day or before? ARGH!! So many questions and no answers, I just have to wait.
To make matters worse today ALL I want to do is eat, I feel like I am losing the control I am so desperately trying to grab hold of. I find it hardest during the day as I feel like I can’t distract myself sat at a desk in a near silent office. The time drags and all I focus on is 2.30pm when I can shut down and get home. Then, when I am home I take the dog for a short walk and await the husband’s arrival home. I feel safe once he is home and I am no longer alone. However, usually by the time he does get home I am seriously on edge and very snappy. I bet he wishes he’d stayed at work. I try so hard to be cheerful and happy but the constant stressing all day takes it’s toll and I am shattered all the time. I wake up tired as I don’t sleep very well and then the daily grind starts again.
I just wish I could switch my brain off.
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