Self hatred

I hate how I look. I am far too thin and yet I can't increase/change what I'm eating without bingeing. I can't handle more or different types of food but I know I look awful, it's not me anymore and when I look in the mirror I hate, no, detest what I see. I know logically it makes no sense, I want/need to increase my weight but I just can't do it without going crazy and eating everything in sight.