Contrast

So, today I feel fat and I look fat. A *slight* contrast from how I felt about my appearance on Friday. I ate too much over the weekend and now it shows. I hate it, my reflection doesn’t lie I clearly have piled weight on over the space of a few days. I can’t handle it but I feel like now all I want to do is binge just give up on trying to control everything and give in to the urges, get fatter and be more miserable than I am now.

I actually, though it seems hard to believe, enjoyed the weekend. I had a really lovely time with my husband and even managed to relax a bit. However, I ate too much and I ate bad food. I feel HORRIBLE now and feel like I have a food hangover which has completely taken over my thoughts and feelings so now the weekend I enjoyed has been replaced by a weekend where I ate too much and put on weight. I know I should focus on the positive and the fact I did ENJOY my weekend but the negative has taken over and I can’t seem to stop the thoughts invading my head and settling there.

I am trying to distract myself…however, all I can think about is food.