Greedy pig

It’s been a tough week but I have struggled on and managed to be “good”. Well, I did manage to be good until last night. I was fine and then it all got a bit too much and I gave in. However, I wasn’t sick so I now feel horrendous and I have realised the last few times I have binged I haven’t always got rid of the food. So, does that mean I am not bulimic anymore and, in fact, just a greedy fat pig? Or just a binge-eater? I feel like a fake. What is best? Bingeing and not getting rid of the food or bingeing and making yourself throw it up again? Ok, so neither option is a good one but I feel awful and wish I could go back in time and either not binge or get rid of the food after. ARGH!! I now don’t want to eat anything today to get myself “back on track”. It is ridiculous, I know. However, I can’t help the way I feel. If I could maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess to start with.