Friday, 9 September 2011

Slowing down

At yesterday’s appointment, it became apparent that I really need to learn to say no more. And really need to slow down and stop trying to do too much. I need to have more “me” time although we all know that time to myself isn’t always the best thing… So, I need to strike up a balance. I hate letting people down but know I need to learn to say no to things. That it is ok to want to have a night in and chill out and meet friends at a later date. At the moment I tend to check my diary and, if it is free just say yes to plans regardless of what else I am doing on other days and I end up with a jam-packed social life and hardly any time to breathe. Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful as I LOVE my friends and want to see everyone as much as possible and, if I was well, that might be possible but at the moment it is making me worse. I am shattered just thinking about all the things I have “booked” in. So, unfortunately I am going to have to start postponing (NOT cancelling) arrangements until I feel stronger and can cope with going out more and doing things. I have to be selfish (something I REALLY struggle with, as I don’t feel worth enough to put myself first) and slow things down. Don’t get me wrong, I will still go out and socialise but in moderation and with plans a lot better planned out than everything at 100 miles an hour. I am exhausted so I need to rest.

I am starting to learn I need to look after myself first and if that involves staying in and chilling out so be it. However, if it involves going out and seeing people even better. But, I have to make sure I am in the right frame of mind so that friends have my full attention and not me in a state of trance fantasising about food and sleeping…

I hope you all understand. It really isn't you, it's me ;-)

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