You may have noticed from the tone of my earlier post, I am feeling a bit more upbeat today. Not sure if it is because it is Friday and I am actually looking forward to the weekend or because I have been ok this week (since Tuesday) or because my appointment isn’t very far away now. Whatever the reason I am trying to hold onto this feeling and keep positive. I had a good night last night with a friend where normally Thursdays are hard for me with the husband out. However, this week I made plans AND stuck to them, not allowing myself to be on my own. A big achievement for me. Don’t get me wrong, it was still really hard to resist the urge to make the most of a free house for the evening, but, I ignored that temptation and had a lovely night catching up. I need to remember these times, I enjoyed my catch up a million times more than I enjoy the guilt and revulsion of a binge.
Maybe I am making progress? Or maybe I am going the other way and enjoying the fact I am managed to control the food I am putting (or not) into my body and in denial that this is a better option? By this, I don’t mean I am actually starving myself, however, I know deep down I am not consuming anywhere near enough food for the amount I do everyday. In my head, this is better than losing control and having too much then needing to be rid of it…but is it really? It is all I can manage at the moment and I feel a bit happier so for now I am going to go with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment