Well, last week was horrible and I was losing all hope thinking that I just needed to resign myself to a life of bingeing and purging as that was all I had become. But then I went to my therapy session on Friday. I had been thinking the therapy was triggering, however, I now think that maybe you just have to get worse and hit rock bottom before you can get up, dust yourself off and start actually recovering. And, my friends, that is exactly how I feel right now.
Friday’s session was all about re-introducing regular meals every day consisting of 3 main meals and 3 snacks. Their guideline is the following:
8am – breakfast
10.30am – morning snack
12.30pm – lunch
3.30pm – afternoon snack
6.30pm – evening meal
8.30pm – evening snack
On paper it looks TERRIFYING. However, I decided to start making small changes to my diet (after having a full on binge after Friday’s session to get the thought “out of my system”). I decided to introduce a PROPER breakfast of cereal and not just an apple, then apple as a morning snack, lunch, more fruit for afternoon snack, dinner and a yoghurt for the evening snack. The 2 hardest ones for me are the proper breakfast and the evening snack. I started this from Monday.
Monday, I managed it. Woohoo!
Tuesday…I managed it…right up until the evening snack which turned into a binge :-(
However, rather than letting it spiral and carrying on into Wednesday and onwards, I dusted myself off and got “back on track” rather than trying desperately hard to starve myself and/or binge again. I might not have managed to have my PROPER breakfast, but, I did start eating again at the morning snack and I managed my evening snack.
Today is Thursday and so far so good. I am not going to get too ahead of myself as I think that is where I went wrong on Tuesday, however, I am looking forward to tomorrow’s therapy for the first time and hoping to build on the good week I have had. Plus, after last week’s session I went for coffee with 2 of the other fellow battlers and we have been supporting each other throughout this week which has been an ENORMOUS help. We are planning to go for a drink afterwards again tomorrow and maybe even our morning snack!
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