It has been a while!

I haven't posted for a very long time, or even been on here for that matter. I would love to tell you it is because I have been recovering amazingly and living life to the full but that would be a blatant lie. However, lots has happened and although I remain very up and down in my progress I AM still FIGHTING. That is one thing that will never stop.

Where do I start? Since my last post, lots of things have happened. Weekly therapy finished (3 month follow-up fast approaching), I went to America with a friend, finished my temping job, had foot surgery, stayed with my Mum for a couple of weeks, had the 5 year anniversary of my Dad's death and many other less significant things. In all that time the only constant was my bulimia. I used it as a way of coping for all the things that happened and also to occupy me at times when I felt as if i was dying of boredom. I have felt like I have been steadily falling apart over the last couple of months and much worse in my eating and mood than I have ever been. However, I finally used all my time to think (am still not working or doing a lot due to my foot amongst other things) and phoned my 'Care Coordinator' at the hospital last Thursday. I arranged to meet with her for a review this week to catch up on things and brainstorm ways to occupy my days better rather than opting for my default 'time-filler' of bulimia. Since speaking on Thursday I feel better and have had an amazing weekend, met with the psychologist and actually realised I am doing a hell of a lot better than I thought I was. What I was tending to do because I have a stupid amount of time to myself alone was to dwell on the bad days, not realising that there were (most weeks) more good than bad. Actually talking to her and saying things out loud made me see things a lot clearer and realise just how far I have come on my journey. Yes, I still have a few bad days BUT I am picking myself up better than I EVER have AND I am still fighting. I will get there eventually and I know I am only at the beginning of my epic journey but for once this doesn't scare me, it only makes me more determined to keep going no matter how small my steps seem so far.